My first blog/ My first camp show

I'm new to the blogging community, and I don't know if I like what it's all about. I mean, I feel like a pretentious douche bag writing stuff about my life, but at the same time, I tell some shitty new jokes on stage all the time, and sometimes they work, so I'll look at it that way: I may waste your time if you're reading this, and I'm okay with that. This fad is destined to be on VH1's "I Love the 2000's" along with Facebook, MySpace, AIM, Texting, reality TV-almost all the tools of socially whoring ourselves out. Good thing I'm spineless, and weak willed- ready to jump on anything that could land me more "friends." I've had a couple of friends tell me they want to know what's going on in my life, and that if I made one of these, they'd read it. Being the shameless attention whore I am, I guess I couldn't resist. This is me- trying to reason with myself that it's OK to be a blogger...

My name is Sam Morril...And I'm blogging...It feels weird to type...blogging...I'm used to "IMing" or "Texting," but blogging...fuck. Okay let's go. 

Here's something I wanted to talk about: I had the pleasure of performing at a camp show at New York Comedy Club a couple of weeks ago. Performing for kids...It was a first (Wow, blogging and being a shameless clown, busting a few cherries in this). I basically am at the point in my stand up comedy career (nowhere) that I'll take anything. Literally anything. Am I being too honest? I'll peform at your babies briss...Dead serious...I'll even circumcize the kid if you pay me in advance. 

So I get a call asking me to do this kids show, and I've got low expectations, but who cares? It'll get me out of bed nice and early. Plus, it'll be a nice change of pace to perform hungover, rather than drunk. So I get to the club, and there's some guy telling cute kid's stories. Whatever works right? Now, I figure I can't be too dirty, which is a shame because I am not a "kid's comedian." I've narrowed my set down to my cleanest rape jokes...

I'm getting nervous at this point because these other comics really know what they're doing with the kids. They're doing cute jokes. The booker keeps coming up to everyone, "work clean." By the third time I hear it, I wanna' open with a child abduction joke. Luckily, a comic goes on and he's saying "Vagina" and words like that, and he's getting giggles. I'm going over my set, realizing that even my clean stuff, it's about adult situations- like heartbreak, love, some current political stuff- nothing mid puberty kids want to hear. 

The comic before me is BOMBING. I was laughing my ass off inside because it just looked miserable- a bunch of ADD shmucks shouting shit out. I went up and immediately told a filthy joke. The kids loved it. I figured I'd walk the line a little- they weren't stupid. I did little things that they enjoyed like I did a bit about condoms and opened by saying, "Don't wear 'em kids. They suck. Seriously, just get an abortion. So worth it." I also started talking about how hungover I was, but that I still loved Scotch. I said, "Steal it from your dad. It's delicious." It was a lot more fun than I expected, and it's a fun story. Until I get famous- I won't turn down a show. So if you have some crazy Bar Mitzvah or even a funeral, give me a chance. If you won't pay me in cash, just give me free booze or set me up with your daughter.

Love,
Sam