Roasting Omarosa at the Friars Club-Ouch.

Tonight I roasted Omarosa at the Friars Club as part of the Friars Club's "So You Think You Can Roast?" Competition (a much needed attempt to inject the club with some younger blood). Tonight I got a much needed reality check. After my audition (which went very well) for this competition, I began to get more confident than I should've been. 

It probably showed in my pre-roast interview with People Magazine when I shot off the "hope they can take my edge" vibe. Who the fuck am I? I'm a 22-year-old college student cutting my character acting class to roast a fading reality star alongside and in front of much more experienced comedians. That's the problem with this situation. I was given all these cool perks- Friars Club membership, a nice steak dinner, free booze. My comedy is better when i have things taken from me- girls breaking my hearts, biological fathers running out on me, etc. That's when I can be myself because I feel I have nothing to lose. 

Tonight, after about a LONG tedious intro from the legendary Paul Mooney (Headwriter of "The Richard Pryor Show" and "Negrodamus" from "Chappelle Show), I took the stage to almost no energy. He basically said, "Sam is a fan of.....George Carlin......Rodney Dangerfield...Bill Hicks....Sam Kinison...Richard Pryor.....I knew them all....All drug users....All dead." I took the stage to zero energy. A comic before me dropped the N word so I opened with a joke about that and things seemed to be going well (or so I thought). After a couple more jokes, I started losing steam. Maybe there was too much at stake (in my mind), or maybe my jokes were delivered poorly or too vulgar. Who knows? I definitely didn't arc the jokes properly, and I wasn't nearly self-deprecating enough. I rip on myself constantly in my stand up, I wasn't the butt of ridicule nearly enough here. You live and you learn.

One of my earliest memories as a comic was performing at a bringer show at Carolines (I'm telling you this for a reason). Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarline were the pros on the show. I had been told that Rich Vos was a "very nice guy" from a comic that shall remain nameless. I made the dumb rookie mistake of saying, "this person says hi." He gave me the "Will you fuck off" expression and ignored me. Bonnie, however, was very nice, and complimented my set (makes a young comics night). She shouldn't have been. I reeked of novice, and looking back, I'm embarrassed (which is half of comedy- looking back on your behavior and saying "I hate myself"). This was the only time I met Rich Vos.

Rich took the stage after me, and did very well. He's a pro- and he can kill in these types of environments. After a joke bombed, he turned to me and said, "Laugh or else I'll bring Sam back up." It was funny. It was the type of jab that was necessary. That's what comedy is sometimes- getting hit when you're down. Even though it probably wasn't his intention, he's made me a smarter and stronger comic. I learned never to make small talk backstage unless a more successful comic initiates it, and I'm learning how to take a blow at a vulnerable time. I bombed early in the show, so I'm sitting there having to take shit with a smile for a LONGGGGGG time. The type of pain you feel after bombing in a big room with stand up sucks, but it goes away soon. I'm desensitized to bombing in certain rooms (after doing so many sets)- but this was the Friars Club in front of a lot of people.

 I was the youngest member of the dais by far, and the least established as a comic. I probably went into this with the least to lose, but it still hurts. It's not a bad pain though. It's the type of pain that you think- I didn't make the team this year, but I'm the youngest guy in try-outs, and I'm learning from good players. This was my first roast ever, and let's face it- firsts are hard. I was a shitty lover my first time (thanks whiskey) and I was a shitty stand up my first time (thanks whiskey). This isn't the type of pain where I'm gonna' sulk. It's the type that's going to motivate me to improve. It worked with stand up. I SUCKED at first, now I'm doing okay. I like the tradition of the roast, and next time- be ready, because I'm going to be better. Guaransheed. 

It wasn't so bad after the roast. Omarosa was surprisingly nice to me. She said she was sorry about my performance, and was pretty friendly. Guess she can act. A few of her Apprentice co-stars came up to me after the show, and were very nice. They said they enjoyed my set, and that the crowd sucked (they're used to lying- those corporate frauds). I had a few of the older comics give me "keep your head up" lines and the "you live and you learn" speeches. Never shit you look forward to hearing, but if you've bombed on stage, you know the feeling. I got some good advice, and I'm gonna' keep plugging away. I'll be bummed for a night, but remember tomorrow morning, I'm not as good as my best set and certainly not as bad as my worst- and roasting is a delicate process- one that I will continue to pursue along with my #1 passion, stand up. 

Keep fighting the good fight,

Sam