St. Valentines Day Massacre 2010

I had a bad set on Valentines Day. Sometimes I just don’t click with an audience. I have a lot of really unusual perspectives and when the audience gets it I feel great. I feel like I’ve taken them to a slightly uncomfortable place, a place that they wouldn’t normally find funny, and made them laugh (maybe they’re already a bunch of weirdos, but I like to think I play a helping hand). I’d rather try to take something that isn’t funny, and make it funny. That’s the goal, I guess, and sometimes my mind ends up in strange places.

The problem with bombing when you have an edgy outlook is that people will not only be mad at you for wasting their time, they’ll be mad at you for offending them. I heard someone in the audience actually say, “This is awful.” I tried to riff of it, but it really sucks to hear that. Just because I touch on some slightly darker topics doesn’t mean I go up there with the intention of offending people. I actually heard some groans after jokes they weren’t on board with, but I turned it around a little when they laughed at a joke I made: “I like to call the suicide hotline and try to make them have phone sex with me…They say, ‘sir, this isn’t a sex line.’ I’m like, ‘talk dirty to me or I’ll kill myself.’” That got a good laugh, and I built some momentum by calling them hypocrites for laughing at that, and groaning at my other material. “It’s good to know where you guys draw the line. You wont laugh at the fact that I’m hairy, but coercing a woman to have phone sex with me…All on board.”

The audience also happened to be extremely drunk. Someone actually answered a phone call during my set, and didn’t hang up. The lack of respect for the comedian amazes me. You would never see that at Macbeth. “King Duncan, can you hold on? Incoming call.” That was indicative of the kind of night it was

Another guy was just heckling me with sounds. He made fart noises. I just joked at the fact that he his arm around a woman…I asked her, ”You’re okay with this jerkoff? I just think it’s great that he’s going to get laid tonight, and I’m not.” He started clapping, as did she. The host left me up there for way longer than I would have liked, but I felt by the end it was way better than it could’ve been. I got a good laugh on my last joke, but so many jokes bombed while I was up there. There was so much silence. At one point in my set, I got some pity laughs. Ask any comic, there is nothing worse than pity laughs. Give me laughter or give me death. But give me silence rather than pity. These jokes are good. These jokes worked all last week. Don’t do me any favors.

After my set, I took the walk of shame to the bar, and some guy grabbed me. “Hey, that wasn’t fair how they treated you. You had really good jokes.” That made me feel a little better. I thanked him. I realize that I’m obviously not for everybody. The worst thing about bombing is that you just feel like a pariah. You’re standing there trying to get laughs and they’re looking at you like “we don’t get you…” It sucks to feel misunderstood by a room full of people. It makes me feel like a crazy person. Having someone, anyone say they enjoyed it makes me happy; any connection is comforting.

Another guy came up to me and told me that considering the circumstances, I handled it very well. Everyone likes to give their two cents. A girl who has seen me before told me that she didn’t like how much I addressed the crowd, but I feel as a comedian, I have to. I have to be in the moment. There was a guy on the phone, a guy making fart noises, and couples groaning. Am I just supposed to go on autopilot? I’d love to hear what other comedians think of this, but I think we have to comment on our surroundings or we’ll seem like robots. I’ve seen guys bomb jokes and then just move on to the next joke like nothing is wrong. That, to me, just looks like a comic in denial. If a guy interrupts my set, he’s taking control from me. Comics need to remain in control of a room. We need to show the audience that we’re comfortable in any circumstance, and we can even make jokes about the situation.

The good news is, I got to spend Valentines Day with my love: Lady Comedy. And I’ve learned to have fun with bombing. I can’t help but laugh at a certain point. Have you ever had a conversation with a person that you just don’t connect with? With comedy when you bomb, you have to do all the talking and instead of ending the conversation (you know, the natural approach), you have to go on for 15 minutes…That in itself is pretty funny. I bomb more often now, but that’s because I’m performing more than ever, and even when I bomb I’m more comfortable in my voice. I’ll go kill tomorrow.

Happy Valentines Day,
Sam